Disturbed or Convicted?

 

"And He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment..." -John 16:8

"...I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, lofty and exalted, with the train of His robe filling the temple...Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord of hosts, the whole earth is full of His glory. And the foundations of the thresholds trembled at the voice of him who called out, while the temple was filling with smoke. Then I said, Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King,  the Lord of hosts." -Isa. 6:1, 3-5

I remember the day I first felt the Spirit convict me. I grew up hearing the Bible and the gospel, but one day I actually heard it. It was an evening I was laying down to sleep and I couldn't get settled. I was in the 5th grade and my spirit was wrestling with God. I was feeling the heart wrenching truth that I was not right. Despite having a father for a pastor, growing up in church, and living relatively good it was not enough. Eventually, in that wrestling match God broke the sinew of my heart. I began crying and prayed to God to save me. I recognized that I was a sinner in need of Christ to make my heart and life right with Him. I knew the very basics of the gospel as it finally penetrated my heart, but it was enough. The next day I followed up with dad at a youth service and we talked more about salvation.

I tell my story because I was confronted in my quiet time with this quote from my devotional by Oswald Chambers, "Very few of us know anything about conviction of sin; we know the experience of being disturbed because of having done wrong things..." I was struck by this statement because I believe my initial interaction with God in my salvation was conviction. The weight of heaviness on my heart and the immediate recognition of needing Him reveals conviction. However, what has happened since then at times of confrontation with God and my sin nature that likes to make an appearance in my life? Do I still face conviction or am I simply disturbed? What about many believers today in the Church?

Disturbed vs Conviction  

To be disturbed by sin is to simply be troubled by it. It is nagging, sometimes weighing, and stays with us. Conviction can be the same, however, the key is our response to it. Our response to being disturbed in America leads to disregard. We are great at it! Why? We are trained to do it? When we are disturbed by something we might think about for a bit, feel a little bad, fleetingly speak about change, and then forget about it. Or we do not like it and find a way to escape it by watching TV, eat "comfort food", play video games, buy something to make us feel better, etc. To be disturbed might move us from our comfort for a bit, but we quickly find a way to get back to comfort.

Conviction, however, cannot let you move away from it. Conviction breaks down your very core emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally, to a complete recognition of who God is and who you are. The passage I reference in Isaiah shows this well. Isaiah is confronted by God and immediately is broken. Not just emotionally breaks down, but cannot do anything but lay down before Him. Conviction removes comfort and leaves us uncomfortable. Why? Change is required! So, how does conviction take place based on Isaiah 6?

1. We are confronted in the presence of God
This is a place believers visit much anymore because it is uncomfortable...at first. To enter into His presence requires our spirits to be checked against a holy God. This means the discomfort of removing the sin before Him. What follows-- peace, comfort, grace, mercy, love, hope, purpose, etc brings us to a place of rightness. I see very few people, myself included, so deep in the presence of God that conviction permeates the believers life. Instead we like to stay on the fringe of His presence to get the feeling of disturbed to easily disregard it and think we've made things right with Him.

2. Recognize God as King
Isaiah describes God as a King which gives us a picture of what he is thinking, feeling, seeing; and then he eventually calls Him the King. Conviction shows us who we are in light of God. We are unworthy. I think about movies that feature amazing kings and how his knights are willing to die for him and when they enter his presence bow in reverence. That should be our response to God as our King. The problem is sin creates other kings the compete with the King or make Him just another king in our hearts and minds. Again, another reason being simply disturbed is easy to work through. God is just another king vying for my heart. Conviction reveals the true nature of God and how He is the King.

3. Conviction leads to humbleness
Isaiah says "Woe is me..." revealing a heart of humbleness. He is surrendered to the King and confesses before Him who Isaiah is. To be disturbed rarely leads to humbleness. It leads to discomfort and a look for a quick fix to remove the discomfort we feel. Conviction leads us to say we need You, Christ the King, to make the proper change in us. To our dismay, the changes necessary may require discomfort for a little while to dethrone the said little kings in our life. Our culture has taught us that discomfort is unnecessary and to be avoided. I think about the recent college president who had students complain because they felt "victimized" by a chapel sermon on 1 Corinthians 13. They were faced with a chance of conviction and respond accordingly. Instead they were simply disturbed and took up residency with pride.

We must not be scared of conviction, but embrace it like a spiritual discipline. We cannot bring it upon ourselves, but when the Spirit convicts do we follow through or let it disturb us? To make it a practice is to consistently be in the presence of God, allow His presence to reveal who He is, and humbly accept our position before Him. Thankfully, His grace, mercy, love, salvation, and life change follows conviction. Simply being disturbed by the Spirit's working in our lives leads to shallowness of faith, and less of the abundant life Christ talks about.